Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Christmas Spectacular - Home Alone

What do you get when you take a bratty kid, his pre-occupied and uncaring parents, a group of siblings and cousins who hate each other, some burglars, a scary man with a shovel, and shove them all inside a Christmas Turkey? Why, you get Home Alone, of course.

Read on to recall why you still feel nauseated anytime a person holds their face and screams...

We all know the story. 10 year old kid is forgotten at home while his family flies to Paris for the holidays. It happens all the time. Usually, the kid spends the first hour crying, then runs around the house screaming and eating ice cream until he passes out from a sugar spike until his parents come home and find him in a puddle of his own urine.
I'm gonna put this in me, no matter what.
Our little hero, Kevin, gets left behind. He spends the first few hours running around the house, eating junk food and watching bad movies.  Unfortunately before he can pass out from the sugar spike, he finds out some burglars are going door-to-door robbing houses. Kevin manages to make it look like his house is filled with people just as the burglars are coming, but he later finds out they plan to rob his house the next night.

Kevin's time away from his family shows him that maybe sometimes he acts a little immaturely, and he begins to grow up, realizing that sometimes, just sometimes, family is more important than anything.
This all happens in about 48 hours.

Home alone is definitely a Christmas movie. It has snow everywhere, decorations up the ass, and sappy, sentimental messages. Kevin starts out as an annoying little brat, but by the end of the movie he has changed into an annoying little angel. It's fun enough to watch him make his McGyver-style traps, but the real reason to watch Home Alone is for the supporting actors.
No, not these morons.
Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern both steal the movie as the two dumb-ass burglars. Pesci can be a little abrasive (no matter what movie he's in) and some of his slapstick comes off as really corny, but Stern is made for this kind of movie. I'm surprised he didn't become a more mainstream actor after this.
Respect me. Love me. Whatever.
Another nod goes to the old scary man with the shovel. The neighbourhood kids spread rumours that he killed his family, but he's really just a sad old man who was basically turned away by his son. Leave it to Kevin to give the old man the most sane advice anyone has ever given him. Roberts Blossom is the kind of old man you would like to share your Christmas turkey with, all the while keeping an eye on his shovel.
That's about the last of the Home Alone 3 DVDs.

Last, but not least, is John Candy. He makes a rather small cameo in the movie, helping the mom get back home to her son. He pulls off the "Gee, shucks, ma'am" routine so well, kindly offering her help, while at the same time, being slightly annoying, as most of his characters are.
A little Candy is good for you sometimes.
In the end, you can't go wrong with some Home Alone. It's got enough sentimentality for the holidays, while still being just annoying that you're glad it's on TV only once a year.

SCORE: 3 Eggnogs with crushed up ornaments in them.

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