Sunday, December 23, 2012
Christmas Spectacular - The Polar Express
The Polar Express was a kids picture book written back in the 80's. It was 32 pages long, and like most picture books, consisted of full page illustrations and a simple story. Robert Zemeckis thought this would be the perfect vehicle to play with motion-capture technology.
Read on to see what the creator of Back to the Future watches on Christmas.
Labels:
CGI,
christmas,
dead eyes,
dolls eyes,
scary,
Tom Hanks,
train,
uncanny valley,
ungodly
Monday, December 17, 2012
Christmas Spectacular - Bad Santa
There are two reasons to hate Santa. The first is because he never brought you that life-size My Buddy doll you wanted when you were 14. The second reason is because he's being played by Billy Bob Thornton in Bad Santa.
Before you take your kids to the mall to see Santa, read on to make sure you're not making a mistake.
Labels:
alcoholic,
bad,
Billy Bob Thornton,
cox,
crotch kick to a kid,
fat kid,
mean person,
santa,
scum
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Christmas Spectacular - Christmas With the Kranks
Christmas? Who needs it. Let's go to the Bahamas. Or maybe we should stay in town take turns crapping in Santa's hat. Yeah, that sounds like more fun. Bring on the Chipotle!
Click the link to learn what bad kids get to watch at Christmas.
Labels:
christmas,
crap,
crazy town,
insane neighbours,
jamie lee curtis,
tim allen
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Christmas Spectacular - Home Alone
What do you get when you take a bratty kid, his pre-occupied and uncaring parents, a group of siblings and cousins who hate each other, some burglars, a scary man with a shovel, and shove them all inside a Christmas Turkey? Why, you get Home Alone, of course.
Read on to recall why you still feel nauseated anytime a person holds their face and screams...
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
The First Annual Christmas Movie Review Spectacular!
Labels:
christmas,
first annual,
santa,
spectacular
Monday, November 12, 2012
Special- World War Z Trailer review
A new trailer for World War Z with Brad Pitt was just released.
First of all, the good.
I love Brad Pitt. I can't think of many movies he's been in that I don't like. I even like that episode of Growing Pains where he plaid that jerk musician (Don't be down, uh-huh uh-huh).
Also, World War Z. Come on. Max Brooks took zombies and somehow made everything about them logical. The Zombie Survival Guide, while it should have been boring, is actually really fun to read. His next book, World War Z, focused on the stories of individuals during the zombie outbreak, and tells their stories from around the world. It's well written and manages to stick to the zombie logic Brooks laid out in the Survival Guide.
According to his books, zombies are the dead come back to life. They don't possess any special powers, except for the fact that they have no emotions, no fear, and never tire. They'll keep going until their bodies are simply destroyed. You have to destroy their brains to kill them, just like in most zombie stories. They shamble around because they have very little coordination, making it almost impossible for them to climb stairs, let alone run.
Now, the trailer...
Now, the trailer...
Wow, those are some fast zombies. And they have some kind of stackable skill, much like little magnetic ants. I could see this being just another movie in the zombie franchise. It almost reminds of I Am Legend. The only thing is that it's based off of Max Brooks's book, which LAID OUT HOW ZOMBIES WORK! And they don't seem to be conforming at all to his rules. I know it's just make believe and all for fun, but I think we wanted to see a movie version of World War Z specifically because it followed a set of rules.
Either way, it looks like it might be fun. And again, Brad Pitt will at least bring some quality acting to the film. I'm interested to see how this one turns out.
Labels:
brad pitt,
max brooks,
not at all like the book so far,
trailers,
world war z,
zed,
zombies
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Sitter
"Hello. This is Jonah Hill".
"Hi. I'm a studio exec. You were in that movie with all the kids, right?"
"Superbad? Yeah. That's me. But recently I've been in..."
"So do you want to be in another movie with lots of toilet humour?"
"I don't know. I'm trying to get out of that image."
"We'll pay you millions of dollars, and you get to wear the same shirt you wore in all your other movies".
"Um... is there going to be at least one dick joke?"
"Sure, sure. In fact, we'll set someone's crotch on fire."
"Sign me up!"
Click the link to see what your hard earned money paid for.
"Hi. I'm a studio exec. You were in that movie with all the kids, right?"
"Superbad? Yeah. That's me. But recently I've been in..."
"So do you want to be in another movie with lots of toilet humour?"
"I don't know. I'm trying to get out of that image."
"We'll pay you millions of dollars, and you get to wear the same shirt you wore in all your other movies".
"Um... is there going to be at least one dick joke?"
"Sure, sure. In fact, we'll set someone's crotch on fire."
"Sign me up!"
Click the link to see what your hard earned money paid for.
Labels:
alcoholic,
annoying kid,
babysitter,
drunk,
fat kid,
jonah hill,
smart-ass teenagers,
stupid,
superbad
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Prometheus
Where did we come from? Were we created, or just a fluke of the universe? Did we evolve from nothing when a flash of lightning hit some random elements? Or did bald, albino body-builders sacrifice themselves to give us life? We may never know, but Prometheus is going to try to find out.
Hit the link to see where you came from...
Labels:
aliens,
bicycle basketball,
fassbender,
goo,
mouth rape,
prometheus,
robots,
scott,
spaceships
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Cowboys and Aliens
Labels:
abduction,
alien,
chaps,
cowboys,
Daniel Craig,
District 9,
Harrison Ford,
UFO
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Moneyball
As of this writing, we're about a month away from Major League spring training. That means everyone's going to be trying to figure out who the next big name will be. Some do it with their gut. Brad Pitt does it with a computer algorithm and the fat kid from Super Bad.
Click the link to find out if his strategy worked...
Labels:
baseball,
brad pitt,
eating,
fat kid,
jonah hill,
oakland A's,
superbad
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Classic Review - Mad Max
Welcome to the first of our Classic Reviews, where I take a look at older movies.
First up in our Classic Movie reviews, we have Mad Max. The name Mad Max might conjure up images of sprawling desert compounds, tankers carrying precious oil, and gangs dressed like S&M lovers. That, my friends, is Mad Max 2 - The Road Warrior, an awesome movie. Mad Max is part one of this series, and it's slightly different.
Click below to find out how different...
First up in our Classic Movie reviews, we have Mad Max. The name Mad Max might conjure up images of sprawling desert compounds, tankers carrying precious oil, and gangs dressed like S&M lovers. That, my friends, is Mad Max 2 - The Road Warrior, an awesome movie. Mad Max is part one of this series, and it's slightly different.
Click below to find out how different...
Labels:
cars,
crazy,
future,
mel gibson,
post apocalyptic,
road rage
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Warrior
As long as we're on the topic of fight movies, let's look at Warrior. Have you ever wanted to face off against your ultimate opponent in the octagon? Have you ever felt the need to grapple closely with other men? Do you often look into the distance with a weary mind? Like Scotch? Then you might be in the mood for this movie.
Click the link to read the full review...
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Real Steel
Fighting has always been a popular movie topic. Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III and others prove that. Fighting robots, however... now there's a movie that's only ever been talked about in dark circles of studio execs. The time is here, my friends, to indulge in metal-on-metal action!
Click the link to read the full review...
Labels:
annoying kid,
boxing,
fighting,
future,
hugh jackman,
Real Steel,
robot
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